When Drew didn't update his weblog,
his referrer logs weren't quite as substantial as they usually were.
This depressed him greatly. Drew loved to be able
to trace the links used to find his domain. He could then
follow the link to their own weblog or the web search they used where
he could then follow all the links to their friends' links.
This must be what making friends was like.
Drew made sure to do this every day because what if he missed than one
weblog which is run by the person whom he is to fall in love with?
What if the most brilliant thinker of our times is just
starting his weblog and Drew becomes intimate with their thinking on
the ground level?
Every measure must be taken to ensure that all links are followed, all
weblogs checked. But Drew fucked up one Friday night and
didn't update his weblog on time and, therefore, he missed out on the
next great this or that. This supposed person or thing
might've never blossomed or gotten out of their fictional seasonal
depression which came upon them every year. Thus, because
Drew didn't do his duty they ended up downing a bottle of Drano in
solidarity with recently deceased famous fictional writer Kilgore
Trout.
Before he could do anymore harm to the universe, or the time space
continuum, Drew jumped over his bed and asked Theresa to go out for
coffee.